Abuse is not love, learn to tell the difference

Nov 11, 2021
abuse is not love

 

It is not easy to understand, and because it is a cycle of abuse, it has an on and off button and it goes up and down and it's good and it's bad. That's what makes it hard to understand, hard to comprehend that you're in a cycle of an abusive relationship. Not everybody can love you the way that you want to be loved, and you have to understand what you are going to accept in your life and what you're not going to accept anymore. I am here to help understand what a toxic abusive relationship is. I want you to understand that it is domestic violence. It doesn't mean that because you don't get struck, it is not abusive. It is still abusive.

When somebody constantly tells you that you're good at something and they worship you and they tell you all these pretty things that you are at what moment in your relationship and then they turn around because they had too much to drink they come back down to tear you down. That is abuse. Abuse is withholding money from you or giving you the sole responsibility of the financial situation from the home, and then making you feel like it's your fault that you don't have enough money or that you are in debt. Abuse is striking you.

Abuse is wanting to have sexual intimacy when you don't want. Abuse is telling you that you are a loving wife and then telling you that you're no good. Abuse is telling you all the negative things that you already think about yourself, just to make you feel bad. It is mental. It is emotional. It is physical.

Abuse is not just getting hit. Abuse comes in many different ways forms, shapes, and sizes. Abuse doesn't only happen in your relationship, but he can also make abuse happen outside of the relationship either after you leave the relationship or he gets people to keep on abusing you, that are supposed to be on your side that he uses his flying monkeys to keep abusing you. Even though you're out of the relationship that is still abuse. Abuse is trying to get information from you so you confide in them and then turning it all around. Abuse is anything that makes you feel like you're not the best person that you can be.

 

Healthy vs Unhealthy

You do not need to be in a relationship where you are not valued, where you are not loved and where you were not cared for. A healthy relationship, decides to have communication. An unhealthy abusive relationship will find an argument, lash out at you or insult you when you're trying to have a discussion about any subject.

In a healthy relationship, you can tell somebody that you found something that doesn't sit well with you, and they will decide to sit down and talk about the situation. In an unhealthy, abusive relationship even though you find proof that they're doing something wrong, they will always turn it around and say that it is your fault.

An abusive person will never find fault in themselves and they will project it out on you. An unhealthy abusive relationship will never make you feel that you need to work for your dreams and your goals to help you move forward. An unhealthy relationship, an abusive relationship will want to keep you tied down where you are and having you feel at your worst. Making you feel like there's no way out. Like there's nothing better that you've done all you can and now you're stuck. A healthy relationship will help you, will push you, will inspire you and motivate you to work for your dreams and your goals and it will be there to help you along the way.

An unhealthy relationship makes you feel like walking on eggshells, makes you feel like you don't want to get home, like you don't want to have communication. Even though, you know, there's something that you both need to talk about, you do not want to engage in conversation. An unhealthy relationship will make you feel that if you don't do things in a perfect manner or the way that he wants it to be done, you're going to get a backlash for it.

Healthy relationships, work together, healthy relationships, help build each other up. Healthy relationship shows the other person that there is love that there is support along the way. An unhealthy relationship will only take advantage of you, whether it's because you have a home because you make more money because you have a better car or whatever the situation is.

They want to be part of what you have or who you are because they can't be or have that. They're going to latch onto you and they're going to want to hold really tight and not let you go. Because once they get you, they feel that they're entitled to all these things that you are. They start to act like you and be like you, Because they have no personality whatsoever and they need you to get to a certain status, to feel a certain way, and they need you there to get it. They need you there to be able to do it.

If you threatened to leave this person after they've gotten to where they want to go, they might threaten you with taking their lives, but this is not your responsibility. And this is not something that you would need to worry about. We are all responsible for our own actions.

You need to work on you and you do not have to feel like it's your fault. You don't have to feel like it's you the one who is breaking the relationship, because before you even ever had a thought that this relationship would be over, they were abusing you and they don't feel sorry for abusing you.

That means you don't get to feel sorry for them. You have to remember all the things that they've done since you have been together and you need to recognize that because you're leaving the relationship it doesn't mean that it is your fault.

 

It wasn't until I started writing everything down

It was then I realized everything that had happened. All the recollections that I kept getting, I started writing in my journal because I did not journal while I was with him. You need to understand that this is something that they brought up on themselves.

You have to understand that this is something that they did to you and it does give you some kind of guilt because you're the one taking the steps, but if you don't take the steps, you will never get out of this prison. You will never get out of this caged life that you living where everything feels heavy and as much as you feel that they love you back and they do things for you, it's never enough. Those moments are so short and so far in between that it is not enough to make you feel happy. You have your moments where you feel happy and everything seems fine and then all of a sudden, the other shoe drops and everything falls back into the old patterns. You start hurting again and feeling bad about yourself and this is a cycle of abuse. That is why when you realize that you are in a toxic, abusive relationship, you need to figure out how you're going to leave this relationship and move away from this person.

You will not get to live your best life and reach those goals that you've been planning for a long time with this person next to you They will find ways to put you down and keep you from being your best simply because you can't be better than them. Abuse is not love It doesn't matter how much they say they love you. It doesn't matter how much they say they need you, because the reality of the situation is that they don't love you because they can't even love themselves, but they do need you.

You need to be loved and cared for and this is the type of relationship that you should be looking for after you leave this relationship, you need to h You need to understand what you went through, how it happened and why it happened. After you heal, then you can look for a healthy relationship, but you need to be alone and you need to understand everything that you went through, so you don't make the same mistakes. Understand that your relationship is abusive and it's time to move on.

If you feel that you need a little bit more of information regarding the relationship that you're going through or that you just went through. I have created the breakaway journal, this journal was created with you in mind for you to understand and coach yourself through what happened in your relationship for you to understand what you went through and how that affected you.

You can go to the store, it's called the breakaway journal, it will be on special for the next two weeks. You can take a peek at it, there's a picture so you can see what it looks like on the inside, and this will help you start moving forward. This will help you start your healing process. I am working on other products like an online course to help you move through the journal and beyond, but that won't be available just yet.

Start with a breakaway journal, It will be 20% off and for the first 25 people that buy the journal, we can have a direct conversation regarding anything else that you feel the journal needs. You can email me, send me messages and let me know how it's making you feel, how it's helped you and you can also tell me if you need something more.

It will be at 20% off , go here . Start your healing process. Start moving away from toxic abusive relationships. This is not what you were meant for, but you have to start facing your small fears, so that can lead to big changes. 

The Break Away Journal is now available!

You need to understand what you went through to heal. This journal explains the most common experiences and provides prompts to get you moving in the right direction.

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