23. You can leave your toxic relationship
It might not seem like it, but you can get out of your toxic relationship and there's going to come a day that you're going to look back and say, I did it. You might be thinking that you can't get out of your relationship, but the truth of the matter is that you are not the only woman that has ever been in a toxic relationship and sadly, you won't be the last, but the point is that you're capable of doing anything that someone has done before you. If many women have done it, you can too. Whatever is your reason, I'm not telling you that you need to get out right now because just like you, I had to plan it.
The reality is that at some point, you get completely drained by your situation. You open your eyes and you realize you're not living anymore, you realize that you deserve better, and you are worth more. You realize you are living a lie, that is not the life that you were meant to live. You start opening your eyes, seeing things in a different light, feeling things differently, notice things that you didn't even notice before, and you start seeing things for what they are.
It takes time. I didn't wake up one day and say, I am leaving, this is done. That's not the way it happens. The same thing with a divorce, divorce takes time and even if you don't have a paper signed and you just need to separate from this relationship, it doesn't happen from one day to the next.
I don't blame you, if you're telling me "I can't go", but what I'm trying to tell you is that you can. I'm not telling you that you got to move out tomorrow, or kick him out of your house tomorrow. What I am telling you is that you have already realized that the life that you are living, the relationship that you are in is not a fulfilling relationship.
You have already figured out that this relationship is tearing you down. It's breaking you emotionally, physically, mentally. You can no longer tolerate to keep being devalued in this manner because you are a woman that needs to be loved and valued and needs to be understood and cared for just like all of us.
If this is not what you were getting, you need to start putting your plan together and you need to start making arrangements to see how you're going to make this move. Do not feel afraid of what it will feel like when you're no longer in this relationship, but start to feel and imagine how it will feel when you start doing things on your own terms.
When you can do things without having somebody bring you down and feeling bad about yourself. Think of the things that you will do when you decide that you want to live a better life. Think of the people that will be available to support you and be there for you when you are doing things that are good for you to better yourself to grow.
I just want to get your wheels turning, you are a woman that needs to be truly loved and not lied to and manipulated. If you feel broken, if you feel like you can't do this anymore, I am telling you that you can, it's all in the mind. The ways that you face your problems is with your mind. I know it feels like your whole world is crumbling and I know it feels like the whole world is falling apart, but sometimes endings are just meant to be new beginnings.
Believe in the power that you have as a woman, as a mother, believe in the power of all those goals that you have, all the dreams that you have let go, because you haven't been able to get to where you need to be. Understand that there's so much room for improvement and for growth.
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