19. Grieving: what goes on after you leave.
You are not missing him. You're going through a process of grieving and you're not just grieving for one thing you're grieving for five different things that are going on in your head and your heart. It is normal for you to think that going back to what you already know is better than going through what you're going through right now, because you feel right now after leaving, after breaking the bond, you feel like this is not for you.
When you are grieving, you have to understand what is happening. Today we're going to talk about the five things you're grieving for at this time so that you understand the cycle that you're going into.
1. There was a fear/love cycle going on with your partner at all times. Whether you fear him, you feared not having another discussion, another fight that just came out of nowhere, or whether you feared that the relationship could be over at any time.
2. You're grieving the loss of a relationship. You were grieving the relationship you thought you had, you're grieving the routine and the lifestyle you had until the moment you left. Having a person to rely upon whether it's financially or just having somebody sleeping next to you at night, takes a lot of getting used to.
3. You are grieving the person that you thought he was. He was just an idea in your head. It was the person that you thought he was because that's what he made it out to seem to you at the beginning. He had a plan, he put it in the work to create the person you would fall for, to create the man that would make you fall flat on your face in love.
4. you were grieving the end of the life you were building when you were with him. However long you stayed, you were building a life together, you had plans and you had dreams. it's one of the ways that he kept pulling you in deeper and deeper.
5. The loss of the person you once were. Some of you were buried in order just to survive it. Some of it was constantly hit by the blows to self-esteem with the criticism and constantly putting the blame on you. You have been constantly gotten hit from all angles.
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